Journal entry- 5/11/23

I went and had an energy healing session yesterday, from a lady I met nearly a decade ago. She had reached out to me to teach yoga to her and a bunch of women to prepare her for an overseas trip that involved lots of trekking. 

One day, after a yoga session, I asked if I could use the bathroom. She told me to head upstairs to use the one in the attic. When I walked in, I felt an energy, it was beautiful. As I looked around I saw oracle cards, on a bookshelf, crystals, oils, a massage bed, and a table and chair set up by the window. 

"She's a healer!" I thought to myself. I went back downstairs and she confirmed that she was a healer and does Angel readings, which means she can channel messages from Spirit.

"When the student is ready, the teacher appears."

I had reached a pint in my own Reiki/energy healing practice, that I needed a mentor, someone that could help me reach a higher level of understanding as my sessions with clients started heading in a new direction. 

She helps clear my energy and channels messages from Spirit that helps guide me back to my true nature. I go to her when the negative emotion/energy is too much for me to clear alone. An energy healer holds space for you to heal, and to release what you need to let go of. For me, this time, I needed help releasing grief and guilt.

In yesterday's session, we started off with a reading. "It's not your fault," She said. "Bub wasn't perfect, and he wants to be perfect, not for you, but for him." "On a soul level, he needs to be perfect."

Tears kept streaming down my face as she held my hands with her eyes closed, channelling what Spirit needed me to hear. "He's eager to get here," she continued. "He keeps jumping in, but he's not ready."

I feel like it's the same spirit that tried to come as Arlo's twin. The same spirit I have felt in my heart forever. The same spirit Arlo has connected with. Arlo told my partner that when she was growing in my belly, her brother was in there too, that "he passed away, but don't worry Babes, he's coming back!"

She knew before we did that her baby brother was growing in my belly, and she knew before we did that his heartbeat had stopped. She also told us "that he was sick, and Mother Earth had to take him and make him better. But don't worry, he's coming back not this Christmas, but next Christmas, OK!"                                                                                                                         She blows me away with what she knows. 

"Life is everything we can imagine, laid out in patterns of pain and passion, we can't control it so keep your compassion." ~Trevor Hall

I feel like emotions such as anger, is unhealed grief. I've been angry before, resentful, and bitter. I've suppressed emotions using drugs and alcohol. Looking back, I never understood and knew how to self-regulate and process my emotions. 

Yoga and meditation has taught me how to do that. To be the witness to all experiences and emotions, as they are all temporary. We tend to identify our "self" with temporary, ever-changing feelings and thoughts. Yoga teaches us to look beyond this illusion of what we "think" we are. 

I will choose to follow my ancestors footprints by connecting to country, sing to Father Sky, dance on Mother Earth, move, cleans, and share my story. Storytelling is a big part of Aboriginal culture. When we name it, we tame it, and by sharing our stories, we have the ability to help others. 

Sending you loads of love, light and epic vibes,

Charlie xo