Turning Pain into Purpose
Jan 09, 2024
Someone said to me the other day, 'make sure I allow myself time to grieve properly.' I thought about that for a minute.... How the fuck do you grieve properly? Am I doing it wrong? So I googled it, and here's what it said;
- Go ahead and cry- Yep, done that.
- Try this breath meditation- Yep, every morning
- Take your feet on a grief walk- I have found running more my thing.
- Shift grief to the surface of your body instead- No idea what this means.
- Smash or rip something you can dispense with- Does bending barbells in the gym count?
- Create and tend a memorial garden plot- I have a Magnolia tree, and a Native Orange tree that friends have gifted me.
- Embody your grief in Mindful Movement- Stop it, I have a Mindful Movement Membership that I practice daily.
I don't have all the answers, none of us do, but what I do know, is that grief is going to be different for everyone, and only YOU know what you need, no one else. For me, running, and hitting the gym is the thing that releases that heavy feeling that is on my heart. It allows me to clear my mind from negative thought patterns and it allows me to feel my grief head on.
Sometimes I am crying through my whole session, sometimes I am flooded with beautiful memories and hope for the future, it's allowing myself to be in the moment, however that looks and feels. Do I like getting up at 5am every morning to do it? No, my comfy bed is way nicer. But what I DO like is how I feel after. I love having a strong body and strong mind. I love accomplishing the hard shit because I know it's building resilience.
Rest and recovery are important as well, so is good sleep and nutrition, but FIRST, I work my arse off and wrestle with the demons that grief has left behind. Life is a combination of pain and passion. They go hand in hand. The deep grief teaches me that I have loved with my whole heart, and the beautiful memories I have of Nan will be with me for a lifetime.
And Bub? I truly believe that what we seek, is also seeking us. What's truly ours will make it's way to us. All we have to do is believe that it's ours and Do. The. Work. And for me, for now, it's getting up at 5am, doing my breath-work meditation, running, lifting weights, feeling grief head on, so I can see the beauty in this thing called LIFE.
Loads of Love, light, and epic vibes,
Charlie xo
