🌕 The Final Full Moon of the Year of the Snake

Two nights ago, I couldn’t sleep. I was tossing and turning, my mind stuck in negative thought loops. Fear kept rising, and all the emotional processing I’ve been doing with my therapist this year just kept coming to the surface.

Looking back, it makes sense. We’re sitting in the energy of the Full Moon, at the closing of the Year of the Snake, a time known for bringing things to the surface so they can finally be felt, integrated, and released. The last few years for us has been big. Losing Nan on my 40th Birthday was one of those moments in life where you know that nothing will ever feel the same again. Only 4 weeks before that I miscarried with five IVF losses after that. Sometimes we think we process grief well, but life is so fast. We have responsibilities like work, kids, house-work..... we don't have time to be sad, so we get on with it.

How fucked up is that!? So when one more thing happens that brings you to your knees, like finding out my Misso's Cancer diagnosis, (that literally buckled me, because I love her so much). Our emotional river finally gets unblocked, it can seem like Niagra Falls is bursting from your seams😂 It felt like every bit of grief I've ever suppressed, found it's way out of my eyes 😭

Instead of trying to push it away, I got up and went into my meditation room. Ween need to name it to tame it, we gotta feel it so we can heal it. So, I started doing breath work, really slowing down my exhale to regulate my nervous system and signal to my body that it was safe. There were moments of crying… and moments of stillness in between.

Eventually, I got up again, went to the fridge, ate a few Tim Tams, (coz I needed a sweet treat), made a sleepy time hot chocolate, and stepped outside and sat under the stars. The Snake teaches us to shed old skins when they’re ready, not by force, but by surrender. Sitting under the night sky, I set the intention to deepen my spiritual connection, to soften, and to allow whatever needed to move through me, to move.

In moments like that, I ask for guidance. From Spirit. From my ancestors. From loved ones who have passed. I ask them to show me what I need, not to fix the pain, but to move through it. To show me my next steps.

I went back into my meditation room, turned on Gaia, and scrolled through the guided meditation section. I pressed play without checking what it was. Lavender essential oil on my temples. Reclined back. Breathing slowly. And then the words started. It was a meditation on grief...

I remember looking at the TV like… of course it fucking is. Because when you ask for guidance under a Full Moon, especially one carrying Snake energy, you don’t always get comfort. You get truth. The meditation invited me to feel into the grief. To notice any thoughts, memories, or images that came with it. Not to analyse them. Not to push them away. Just to allow them to be there.

I must have fallen asleep around 3am.

The next morning I woke up late for work. I cried the whole drive into town. Deep, uncontrollable sobbing, like a plug had been pulled. The kind of release that can only happen when something has been held for too long.

This Full Moon didn’t let me suppress it anymore. And neither did my body. I let it flow. Eventually, it passed. In the days since my breakdown, (or maybe it was a breakthrough) I’ve felt lighter, brighter, and more spacious inside. When I spoke to my therapist the day after it happened, she reminded me of something simple and powerful — this is normal.

The Snake teaches us that healing is cyclical. That emotion needs movement. That when we block the river, the water stagnates. Grief, fear, sadness, they aren’t signs that something is wrong. They’re signs that something is ready to move.

This is what the final Full Moon of the Year of the Snake asks of us:

To stop suppressing the heavy shit, to stop gripping, to stop bypassing, to let the old skin fall away.

Allow the emotions to flow, just like the river. Rather than bypassing or powering through, I’ve had to come back again and again to the basics. Regulating my nervous system so I can actually process what’s coming up.