I remember my anxiety and depression being so crippling, I thought there was no way out. The anxiety turned into panic attacks which would have me in ED with Valium on board. 

I remember my whole body would be convulsing, like I was in an epileptic zone, my fingers would curl in and cramp up, and all I kept thinking was; "Am I going to die?" Which is what I asked a Dr one time as I woke up in a hospital bed after drinking way too much alcohol, on top of ecstasy and cannabis.

"No you're not dying, you just need to deal with whatever is going on in your mind." I remember being so annoyed at that Dr, "What the fuck would he know!" I thought... Because in my mind, there was something wrong with my physical body, I felt like I was having a heart attack. LOL

Turns out, it was my heart and my head that was causing all of my pain and suffering. 

Mental health problems such as anxiety and depression, are symptoms of being disconnected from your true nature. In my experience, it was a combination of the thoughts I was thinking, (going back to past events and re-living them), as well as the substances I was consuming to numb out, and my environment all of which was a cesspool for a mental health disorder. 

Lucky for me, my Mum connected me to Spirit/God/Universe at a young age so I had started a relationship that I could connect with when shit got bad. I'd lay under the stars and pray for things to get better, for Spirit to help me, guide me, and protect me. 

Spirit actually made shit get heaps worse before it got any better, but it's only because I continued to live a life of toxicity! 

This time of my life was the catalyst for change and transformation. When you ask Spirit for help, you have to be willing to do the work in order to get out of the toxic cesspool you call life. 

You have to remember that you are not your thoughts, you are not your body, you are not your anxiety, you are not your depression, you are not what happened to you in your past.... You are the pure awareness witnessing all of those things, and the more you can connect to that awareness through practices like meditation, you realise that you can detach from all of those things that continue to make you miserable!

You have the power to change course, You have the power to overcome anything that that life throws at you. And yes, life can be really painful and it can break you and bring you to your knees. But YOU, are needed here, YOU have a gift that this world needs. The reason life has been so hard for you is because life is trying to show you that you have a strength within you to fight any battle. 

You have a warrior inside of you just waiting for you to discover her. Get out of your head and connect to your heart each day and keep telling yourself "I am safe, I am loved, I am protected." Start rewiring your brain and nervous system, and start believing in your power. You are not broken and there is nothing wrong with you....

You have just forgotten who you are...

Go and find a comfy spot where you won't be distracted and listen to the meditation.

Remember who you are and connect to the warrior within you.

One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying.

-Joan of Arc